Coaster Notes: The Tap Takeover

After experiencing my very first tap takeovers this week (Funky Buddha @ South Miami Sports Grill and JWB @ The Lokal), I learned a couple things about Miami’s beer scene.

The early bird catches the worm-based barrel aged imperial stout: You’d be surprised how an event that claims to begin at 9:30 will be out of one of the advertised beers by 9:40. Duh, guys, it’s because they didn’t start at 9:30. All of the “regulars” know to be there and to start winking, pestering, schmoozing, boot licking, or whatever is necessary so the bartender cuts you some slack so you don’t have to wait.

The over-slept-drowsy-bird sometimes also gets the worm, but he better be cute and/or a good tipper: As the chalkboards get erased, kegs are pronounced “kicked” with a time of death and all, crowds of sweaty beer people look lost at the taps with a look that screams, “What will I do?” Here’s a tip: ask. Sometimes there’s a bit being hoarded for the staff or the cool industry people or whatever and you just may be that one extra cool guy. Maybe.

Hey! You’re the one who knocks… my beer all over the place. Super lame, bro: All the friendly freaks, geeks, jerks and twerks were present at the J.Wakefield brewing event at the Lokal. You know the types; I spied Flaco from the always-about-to-open brewery, Dreads McGee and the smoky bunch, the League of Extraordinary Bald Beer Aficionados, Hardcore Tinkerbell, probably a Brewja or two, Table for One Dude hoarding bar space, the high-priced college rats, the former high-priced college rats and of now of course yours truly and my crew of flunkies. What does that mean? Step on some toes maybe but don’t be remembered as “the one who knocks” … over beer. You’ll be remembered. Good beer etiquette equals good beer karma.

Fun is for the patient: Bars unfortunately are limited in space, staff and quantity of beer. So, with that said, a little sense of humor and humility goes a long way. You may be standing for a while, you may have to wait to be served, you may have to forgo your bar food cause there’s no way you’ll see it in the next hour. It’s part of the game. So don’t hate the players: don’t scowl at your bartender (the serving industry sucks out your soul, have a little empathy), don’t try to start a riot, and watch your hair, it may end up in someone’s maple syrup from their Chicken n’ Waffles. Oh yeah, and August is hot and the air barely moves. Wear shorts.

Side note: What happened to the Grove? I hadn’t been there (besides biking through) in like 10 years and looks like no one else has either.


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